Not again.

WHY?! WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!?!? For Pete's sake you have done it again. Can't you stay away from "those" people who play "those" role in my life. It's damn annoying. It's not that you bug me because I could care less about you but in this case, YES YOU ARE A BUG. And I wish I could squish you like one. Which I probably could anyway. GAADDD.

Ok breathe. In and out. Inhale Exhale.

Sigh. I thought we both had an unspoken agreement of some sort. I know our feelings for each other is mutual and it's been "fine" ever since. It wasn't that pleasant but at least we were both civil. I don't really even care about you, and it's been good. But you are doing what you did before that I think practically hated you in the gut. :(

I know this aint good. I just needed to vent out I guess.

Stuck.

I feel STUCK. Mind-wise, if there is such a thing. It's like I can't think of definite thoughts or generate some sensible or absolute things. I wanna write something, but the idea is very vague in my mind like a saltwater trying to be an ice in normal freezing temperature. Even a status in facebook I can't think to form one or maybe blog about my day. I start out... then nada. It's very frustrating. Everytime that happens I just feel more into deep in this feeling. I feel... blocked. Stuck. And it sucks. I don't think it's laziness coz I WANT to do it. Its just my mind doesn't want to cooperate.

I want to be more active again, like before. With all my poems, realizations, and even just my 'rants', I want it all back. There was a time that it all pours out with my feelings. I was filled with energy to do it all as it comes into my mind, or if my mind wills it to. I want to think myself as a person with passion, a driven person. I am. I know I am. But I don't know... maybe it's just a phase? or it's just that I have been too busy? or was "dormant" for too long while I was in Brunei? I hope it changes soon. Because I am not liking a bit of what's been happening.

xoxo
glaii

Philippines and not feeling surprised

Flying to Philippines tommorrow. Yay! I've been waiting for this. To get outta here in Brunei. Flight's at 230. So that means heading out to the airport around 10.30 or something to make it 2 hours before the flight since its a 2hour drive from KB to Bandar. Should be arriving in Philippines at 4? 5? its a 2hour flight. After that its a 6hour drive from Manila to my place and we are HOME :) Yes its a long journey but what else can we do? Airasia was being a bitch. haha.

Packing was tedious as ever. Sads. But I think I managed to fit everything that I wanted to bring :D I got me some extra space since I know it would be filled up as I'll be going back on February 2. I have must-do list when I'm back. Have to meet bestfriends, friends, previous classmates, and prolly meet new people on the process. Especially after my parents leave a week earlier than us. hahaha. ;) Can't wait to have the foods that I miss for so long! I won't mention them since some of it might be disgusting to others. :P I just can't wait. I'm having a mix feeling about that though. I mean imma be enjoying it there but at the same time its because of that that I'm hoping time will pass fast. :)

Anyways, on the other side note... Do you know the feeling that when someone do something that upsets you? And been doing it for quite awhile and you just got used to it? Then the thing is, it upsets and saddens you but it doesn't surprise you anymore. You don't expect the person to do otherwise. You knew they'll do it again, but it still has the same effects. Don't you think that that makes it worst? Sads.

So anyways again, i'm flying off tomorrow. Will be in Philippines tomorrow. At least that's one to yay about. YAY!